5 hidden ways parents can unknowingly break their child’s trust

 

🤐 1. Dismissing Their Feelings

“It’s not a big deal.”
“You’re fine.”
“Stop crying for no reason.”

Why it hurts 

Children feel things are big. When their emotions are brushed aside, they learn their feelings don’t matter-or worse, that they can't trust you to handle them.

What to do instead 

Acknowledge first, then guide.

“That looks like it really upset you. Want to tell me what happened?”

😅 2. Laughing at Their Struggles (Even Playfully)

“Oh come on, you’re being so dramatic!”
“Look at you getting scared of a shadow!”

Why it hurts 

What might seem funny or harmless to an adult can feel like mockery to a child. It can make them feel small, embarrassed, or unsafe to open up next time.

What to do instead 

Hold space for their experience-even if it seems silly to you.

“I see that scared you. It’s okay. I’m here with you.”

❌ 3. Breaking Promises (Even the Tiny Ones)

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”
“We’ll go to the park tomorrow, I promise.”
(Then forgetting or not following through.)

Why it hurts 

To a child, your word is gold. Repeatedly breaking small promises-even if unintentionally-teaches them not to rely on you.

What to do instead 

Be honest and realistic. If plans change, acknowledge it.

“I know I said we’d go. I couldn’t keep that promise today, and I’m sorry. Let’s find another time.”

😬 4. Talking About Them (Not To Them)

Telling others about their behavior in front of them
“He’s so lazy these days.”
“She’s always so shy-it’s a problem.”

Why it hurts 

Children hear everything. When you talk about them like they’re not there, especially in a negative light, it chips away at their confidence and trust in you.

What to do instead 

Speak to your child, not about them.

“I’ve noticed you're feeling quiet lately. Want to talk about it?”

🚫 5. Using Threats or Manipulation to Control Behavior

“If you don’t stop crying, I’m leaving you here.”
“Be a good girl or Amma won’t love you.”

Why it hurts 

Fear-based parenting might work in the moment, but it leaves lasting cracks in trust. It teaches a child that love and safety are conditional.

What to do instead 

Lead with boundaries, not fear.

“It’s okay to cry, but we can’t scream in the store. Let’s find a way to calm down together.”

🧡 Final Thought  Trust Is Built in the Small Moments

No parent is perfect. We all get tired, frustrated, or say things we don’t mean. What matters most is being willing to repair-to say “I’m sorry,” to try again, and to keep showing up with love.

“Trust isn't built in big, fancy gestures. It's built in the everyday moments when your child looks at you and knows-I am safe here.”