Resilient Kids Have Parents Who Refuse to Do These 5 Things
Every parent wants to raise a confident, adaptable child ready to face life’s ups and downs. But resilience isn’t something we can simply teach in words — it’s something we nurture through our actions. Sometimes, what we don’t do matters just as much as what we do. Here are five things resilient parents intentionally avoid, and what they do instead.
1. Make All Their Decisions for Them
We all want to guide our kids, but making every decision for them sends the message that they can’t be trusted to choose for themselves. Resilient parents say:
💬 “I want to hear what you think. Let’s talk through your options.”
What they learn:
👉 “My choices matter. I am capable of making decisions for myself.”
Why it matters:
Decision-making builds independence and confidence. It shows kids that their voice counts and that they’re capable of shaping their own lives. By practicing small decisions now, they’ll be more prepared to make bigger life choices later.
2. Rescue Them from Every Struggle
When we swoop in to fix every problem, we rob kids of the chance to struggle, problem-solve, and overcome. Instead, resilient parents remind them:
💬 “I know this is hard for you, but I believe you can figure it out.”
What they learn:
👉 “When I solve my own problems, I build confidence to face challenges head-on.”
Why it matters:
Struggle isn’t the enemy — it’s how we grow stronger. Kids who are allowed to navigate difficulties learn grit, resourcefulness, and perseverance. They discover their own strength.
3. Shield Them from Every Disappointment
While it’s tempting to protect kids from heartache, shielding them from disappointment robs them of important life lessons. Resilient parents instead say:
💬 “It’s okay to feel upset. Disappointment is part of life, and it teaches us resilience.”
What they learn:
👉 “Life won’t always go my way, but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.”
Why it matters:
Facing disappointment teaches kids how to cope, bounce back, and trust their own emotional strength. It prepares them for future setbacks in healthy, constructive ways.
4. Step In to Prevent All Mistakes
Mistakes are natural and necessary for growth. Preventing every error sends the message that mistakes must be avoided at all costs. Resilient parents reassure them:
💬 “Mistakes happen, and that’s how we learn. What can you do differently next time?”
What they learn:
👉 “Mistakes don’t define me; they’re stepping stones to success.”
Why it matters:
When kids are allowed to make mistakes, they develop courage to try again without fear of failure. They learn to see errors not as shameful, but as opportunities to improve.
5. Create an Unrealistic Pressure to Be Perfect
Perfection is an impossible standard, yet many kids feel its weight. Resilient parents release that burden by saying:
💬 “You don’t have to be perfect. Just do your best and keep learning.”
The kid drawing a picture that isn’t perfectly colored inside the lines, but smiling proudly as a parent pins it to the wall or fridge.
What they learn:
👉 “I don’t need to chase perfection. Progress is what matters.”
Why it matters:
Easing the pressure of perfection gives kids freedom to grow, experiment, and embrace their imperfections. It nurtures creativity and resilience instead of anxiety.
